The Right Foundation for a Relationship

September Teaching Letter from Denise Renner

Dear Friends,

Merry Christmas and greetings in Jesus’ precious name! Christ came into this world “in the fullness of time” to redeem mankind from sin and to reconcile us to the Heavenly Father (Galatians 4:4,5). And what a great salvation it was and is that God wrought for us in Christ (see Hebrews 2:3-18)! Denise and I and our family wish you a warm and wonderful Christmas season and the best new year of your life in 2022.

Today I want to talk to you about opportunities and adversaries, but first I want to say thank you for being such a faithful partner with our ministry. As I told you in my letter last month, our ministry is bursting at the seams, and I am so humbled that God would use Denise and me, our family, and our team to minister to the many people who are reaching out to us every day.

Every soul is precious, and it is our heartfelt desire to convey that truth to every person God brings to us — that they are precious to Him and to us. And your gifts are so vital to our ability to touch every one of these treasured souls! So today I want to say a special thank you for all you do with us to take the trusted teaching of the Word of God to people in Russia and all over the world. From the depths of our hearts, Denise and I THANK YOU!

This month is the last month of the year — and I know you are probably preparing for Christmas and many different kinds of gatherings. But in addition to Christmas, it’s also almost 2022. As we come to the end of this year and to the beginning of a brand-new year, the Holy Spirit keeps telling me to “stay on track” with the assignments He has given us. I hear Him saying that even if we hit bumps along the way, everything will be all right if we’ll just stay on track and maintain our God-assigned territory — the many opportunities and assignments He has given us to inspire, strengthen, and equip believers with the sound teaching of the Bible.

But I’ve learned over the years that opportunities and adversaries usually go together — and today I want to encourage you to undergird yourself so that you can stay on track with what God has asked you to do this month and in the coming year.

Over the course of our ministry, we’ve had many great, effectual doors open to us to do the work of the Gospel. I’ll never forget when I received an opportunity to minister on television in the former Soviet Union. It was as if a great door had suddenly swung open to an entire vast territory — a door that had never before been opened for anyone else — and I knew I was experiencing something miraculous. By faith, Denise and I stepped through that door and began to preach the Word of God on television in this spiritually starved corner of the world.

Given the former socialist-communist campaigns against the Gospel in this particular region, this opportunity was as miraculous as the Jordan River dividing for Joshua and the children of Israel. But with this great open door also came a slew of adversaries, specifically dispatched by Satan to instill fear and doubt into my heart. The devil desperately wanted to prevent me from touching the lives of spiritually oppressed people, so he positioned evil people with insidious plans to try to block my view of what God had in store for our ministry.

I’m telling you that it was like the children of Israel looking at the Promised Land from the far side of the Jordan River. From that perspective, they saw only the fruitful land of blessing that lay before them. But once they entered the Promised Land, they had to fight giants of every kind before they could possess that land and enjoy the blessing. In much the same way, if Denise and I had taken our eyes off the Lord during that tumultuous period — or if we had focused only on the problems and forgotten about the fruit we were pursuing for God’s Kingdom — I’m sure we would have backpedaled to get out of the situation!

But we knew this was a God-given opportunity and worth the fight, so we fixed our gaze squarely on the Lord. Girded with the armor of God and the power of the Spirit, we pushed through every obstacle and possessed the ground that God called us to take. As a result, millions of souls began to hear the Gospel for the first time. We knew that only God could have opened this door!

In First Corinthians 16:9, the apostle Paul wrote about the strategic doors of opportunity that open for the Gospel and the adversaries that usually accompany them. He said, “For a great door and effectual is opened unto me, and there are many adversaries.” Notice that Paul used the words “great,” “door,” “effectual,” and “is opened” to describe the opportunity that had been set before him.

The word “great” in this verse is translated from the Greek word megale, which means gigantic. The word “door” is the Greek word thura, which typically refers to a door, but in this context, denotes a rare opportunity. The word “effectual” is the Greek word energes, and it depicts something that is powerful and ready to be set into motion. Finally, the phrase “is opened” is the Greek word anoigo, which describes something standing wide open. In other words, the door in question couldn’t be any more open! Thus, an alternate translation of Paul’s words in First Corinthians 16:9 could be rendered, “A gigantic, powerful opportunity is already set in motion and standing wide open….”

Paul continued by saying, “For a great door and effectual is opened unto me….” You see, Paul knew that the particular door he was referring to had never been opened to anyone else, and he stood in awe of the unprecedented opportunity. Walking through these kinds of doors is impossible without divine assistance, and Paul was fully aware of God’s role in the matter. That is why he specified that this door had been opened “unto me.”

Paul’s prayer request in First Corinthians 16:9 was not for a door to open because it had already opened. His prayer request was to receive God’s wisdom to deal with the numerous adversaries who were trying to come against him. Paul used the Greek word antikeimenoi to describe the vast number of “adversaries” that were sent to attack him. This Greek word describes something that was piled high and lying all around him. In other words, he was dealing with more than a few minor opponents. On the contrary, it felt like opposition was stacked high on every side!

I’ve learned that the enemy will try his best to keep you from stepping through the gigantic doors of opportunity God desires to open for you. Satan is afraid of what will happen when “his” territory is invaded by someone fully equipped with a full arsenal of spiritual weapons. So know this: God will open doors for you — but He needs you to make a determined decision that you will walk through them, no matter the opposition, with the help of His Spirit.

By opening the door, God has already done His part, which would have been impossible without His assistance. Now He beckons you to come, dressed in the whole armor of God and in the power of His Word — and proceed through that effectual door into new territory. It may look like enemies are everywhere, but it is simply a fact that the devil and his forces flee and collapse when they are subjected to a show of strong faith!

As I mentioned earlier, many great and effectual doors have been opened to us over the years to do the work of the Gospel. In each case, we knew these doors were unique to us and had never before been opened for anyone else. And just as Paul experienced opposition, there were plenty of enemies that came against us with each opportunity. But because we obeyed God, the devil was forced to move out of the way, and we walked right into the virgin territory that God had opened for our ministry.

Even if you think your situation looks threatening right now, I want to tell you that God is with you. He wants to supernaturally open new doors for you — doors that have never before been opened for you. He is not beckoning you to walk through these doors so you can fail. He is with you every step of the way, and He will empower you to defeat every foe and bring Him glory in that new territory that is yours to possess in Jesus’ name!

Your open door may be an opportunity to shine the light of God’s Word and God’s love to your family or friends during this holiday season. It may be a door that will open to you in the new year. Regardless of when it is or what it is, the same God who opens doors will empower you to walk through them — and then He’ll be right with you to give you the wisdom and strength needed to overcome any giant that tries to meet you on the other side.

I know this is not a typical December, “Christmas-style” letter, but this is what was on my heart to share with you today. I want you to always know that if we can join you in prayer, we would be delighted to do so. To be honest, we are praying for you anyway, but when we are alerted to know exactly “how” to pray, it increases our effectiveness as we pray for you. So if you have a special need, please either call or write to let us know how we can get in agreement with you for God to show Himself mighty to you according to Jeremiah 33:3, which says, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.”

And please pray for us as we continue marching forward by faith to push back darkness, to shine the light of God’s Word, and to take territory for the Kingdom of God. Together — as partners — we can make a difference in the lives of throngs of people who are crying out to God for help. They are waiting for God to respond to their prayers, and God wants to use us — you and us together — to bring them the answers they desperately need.

But before I close, I want to say we are specifically asking God to do something special for you this month and before the end of the year. I don’t know what it is, but that is what we are praying. We are asking God to do something special that will bless your life! And please, please pray for us as we continue pushing ahead to build our studio in Moscow, to finalize the purchase of our new headquarters in Tulsa, and to continue to minister effectually to every precious soul Jesus brings to us!

Merry Christmas!

We love you and thank God for you!

We are your brother and sister, friends, and partners in Jesus Christ,

Rick and Denise Renner
along with Paul, Philip, and Joel and their families|Dear Friend,

It is such an honor to write to you again and encourage you in your walk with the Lord. This month, I am looking forward to traveling throughout the United States and sharing what the Lord has placed on my heart with many wonderful congregations. I’m especially excited to let you know that I will be hosting a Women’s Healing Meeting on Friday, October 3 at 7 PM CT at Millennial Church in Tulsa, OK. If you are in the area, I would love for you to join us! I believe this will be a very special time in God’s presence, and I am expectant for all He has in store for us. I encourage you to come with a heart full of faith — ready to worship, and to receive from the Word of God!

Today, I just want to give you some advice about carrying on healthy relationships with other people. I have counseled many married women over the years, and many of the things I’m going to tell you are lessons I have learned in my own marriage, but I believe that the foundational truths of this teaching can help someone in any kind of relationship. Whether you’re married or dating or just navigating family dynamics and friendships, I hope you will take this advice to heart and let it change the way you approach the people in your life who you love.

*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]

Unfair Expectations

I have seen many instances in marriage where women set themselves up for failure from the very beginning of their married lives because they want their relationship with the man they love to meet all the needs of their hearts. Well, that just isn’t possible. There are some needs that we have that only Jesus can fulfill for us.

Psalm 18:1-2 says, “I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Notice that verse 2 doesn’t say, “My husband” or “my best friend” or even “my brother or sister is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, my strength, my shield, the horn of my salvation, and my stronghold.” That would be a lot of responsibility for one person’s shoulders! As wonderful as our friends and family might be, their shoulders are simply not that big, and our false expectation that any of them can meet our every need sets us up for undue disappointment. 

I have certainly faced that kind of disappointment before, and it was shortly after our family moved to the Soviet Union. You see, Rick was pouring himself into the work that we had come to do, busy with everything that comes with embarking on a new assignment from God. The vision he was carrying would prove to have a vast impact on that entire region of the world. However, it took an enormous amount of time and attention in those early days as Rick had to intently focus not only on constructing a physical church building, but also on raising up church leaders and laying the foundation for what was to become a huge ministry.

At the beginning, I was engaged in serving right at his side. I started and directed the praise and worship of our church, I helped Rick in the TV ministry, and I was blessed to be the stay-at-home mom of three wonderful little boys, who I even home-schooled for a time. But as Rick’s responsibilities and vision kept increasing, I began to feel that I was losing the place in his heart that belonged to me as his wife. Even though he was following God’s call as he was meant to, I began to harbor feelings of resentment and unforgiveness toward him because I felt so left out of his life.

Before I knew it, my negative feelings had so consumed me that I began to experience troubling symptoms in my body. At times, my hands and feet would go almost completely numb, and my unforgiveness opened the door to a great deal of fear in my life, including horrible panic attacks.

It took me much time to realize, but eventually, God revealed to me that, although my emotions were directed toward my husband, I was the source of my own bitterness and frustration. Like many women, I had great hopes that marriage would always be peaceful and happy, but the fact is, life often brings just the right circumstances to reveal our inner ugliness in full color. When we feel vulnerable and become needy toward others, that hidden ugliness floats right up to the surface and disrupts the peace and happiness we hoped for.

Fortunately for all of us, it’s often in our desperation that we discover the truth. As I struggled with all of those negative emotions concerning Rick and our marriage, I was desperately drawing close to God, and He was able to reveal to me the things that I was missing. You see, marriage is a beautiful thing. When you meet the love of your life, it’s okay to depend and lean on him or her, but God never intended for any of us to be totally dependent on another human being. I was putting too much pressure on Rick, expecting that he would meet all my needs, when my dependence really needed to be on God!

Perhaps you’re not yet married or don’t overly depend on your husband or wife, but you might be putting too much pressure on other relationships in your life. You may have an inordinate dependence on your friends or your children. Maybe it’s on your coworkers, your mentors, or your parents. It’s wonderful to have these people in your life, but Jesus wants you to trust Him with all your heart and to place your dependence completely on Him, something that no human relationship could take.

What’s wonderful is that when we realize this, we not only make ourselves happier, but we become better partners in our relationships. When I married Rick, I was holding on to the belief that he would be there for me at all times and would hold the answers to all my needs, but that was actually a selfish way to start a relationship. Over time, I realized that the Holy Spirit is the only One I should fully depend on, so I no longer felt the need to constantly look to Rick to meet all my needs. Once I settled that in my heart and allowed God to do a transforming work in me, I was able to concentrate more and more on what I could do for Rick instead of on what he could do for me. By turning my eyes to the Lord as my provider, I was free to enjoy Rick in a fresh, new way, and he was also able to enjoy our journey through life together in a way he’d never been able to before. I was finally able to give to him without wanting anything in return because of the secure, confident place I’d reached with the Lord. 

Work in Progress

Friend, we have to recognize that Jesus is the Rock of our salvation — immovable, unshakable, and unchanging. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6), and He’s the way out of whatever problem we’re facing in our relationships, even if it’s a problem of our own making.

I want to make sure you understand this, because it is only by truly seeking Him that you will be able to experience His help. 2 Corinthians 4:18 says, “…we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

This verse makes it clear that our attention matters. Studies have shown that when an object other than the road draws a driver’s attention, it is the driver’s instinct to steer the vehicle toward that object. Of course, if the driver allows himself to be distracted long enough, he will end up causing a wreck.

Similarly, what we are looking at and focusing on determines where we will go in life. If we’re not looking at the Word of God, our emotions will be unstable and will lead us astray, causing emotional havoc and wreckage in our lives and relationships. So we must ask ourselves, “What has my attention? What am I looking at?” When we put our focus on Him, He holds us firmly in place. He alone provides a place of security that’s absolutely trustworthy, different from any place of safety and protection we’ve ever known. His gift of deliverance and freedom is deeper, wider, and higher than any pain or affliction that comes our way.

This type of deliverance usually doesn’t come through someone laying hands on us, and it usually doesn’t come overnight. Most often, we receive this kind of deliverance through a long process of seeking and working to draw near to the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Many times, we say that we want to grow in Christ, but we also want a quick way out of every test, trial, and feeling of discomfort, so I want to encourage you to watch out for that attitude. When trouble comes to each one of us and presses hard against our faith, we are presented with an opportunity for growth. We have to seize that opportunity because each of us is responsible for the condition of our own heart, regardless of our circumstances. Our deliverance has been completely paid for, but we must each make the decision to accept the freedom and healing that He has provided for us. Our growth will only happen as we choose to respond to Him and His Word with faith and humility, even when we feel we’ve been wronged or treated unfairly.

It may seem unfair that we have to put in all this work, especially if the wrong in a relationship is not our fault, but that is the only way we’ll ever be able to live in a healthy relationship with others. I have ministered to many women who have been abused and betrayed by someone close to them, and I can say from watching them that if you are bound in any way, you do not have to be stuck in that place. The Word of God can bring deliverance, growth, change, and confidence in who you are in Jesus. You can go to Him and let Him free you from the chains that have bound you — even the chains that may have to do with someone else’s choices.

The Lord can redeem any life in any situation, so we can be confident that whether our pain is a result of someone else’s actions or our own negative thoughts, God will turn it for good. Sometimes, we may not even realize what the source of our pain is, but He can reveal it to us and lead us to a better place, so we need to be actively seeking Him all the time so that He can lead us on the right path to a healthy relationship.

It’s Your Choice

In today’s world, it seems like we see so many times where people walk away from their marriage when things get hard or the relationship appears to be stagnant, and they do it only to get into another marriage where they have the same expectation that their “happily ever after” will somehow be ready-made with little or no effort on their part. I hope that this teaching has really helped you to see that this is just not the case. Each one of us is on a journey of growth and change, and that journey doesn’t just end when you find the love of your life or become a parent or find a friend who understands you. This is a lifelong journey, and it is wonderful to have people to share it with — as long as you are sharing it with God as well.

God made relationships, so He knows how to build a beautiful, healthy relationship, and it stands to reason that we need His help to nourish this lifelong process. Yielding to Him may not always be easy, because our flesh enjoys taking control, leaning on our own understanding, and having everything our own way, especially in our dealings with other people, but that is not God’s way, and His way is the only one that He will bless, prosper, and crown with His grace. Whatever relationship you are pursuing in this season of your life, God needs to be in it, so make sure that you are depending on Him rather than on another person who is just as unsteady as you. Learn to accept your responsibility so that you can do the hard work of searching yourself and making your relationship work.

I am so honored to have been able to share with you today, and I just want to remind you that we want to support you. Whether you’re struggling with a changing friendship, considering marriage, or needing freedom from dependence on someone else, prayer is a powerful tool,  and here at Renner Ministries, we have a prayer team who is ready to stand with you for anything you need. Whatever you might need prayer for, we are ready to receive your request, so just call 1.844.473.6637 or send an email to prayer@deniserenner.org. We are believing for a radical change in your situation!

Before I close, I want to remind you to come join me at Millennial Church in Tulsa, OK, on Friday, October 3 for my Women’s Healing Meeting! It is going to be such a powerful time together! I also invite you to watch my weekly program, TIME with Denise Renner, live every Monday at 7 AM CT on YouTube or Facebook. You can also catch my program on Facebook every Wednesday at 12 PM CT, and all past programs are available on my Facebook page, and my YouTube channel. You can even watch my program on Victory channel or Daystar at 2 PM CT on Mondays or 8 AM CT Wednesdays respectively. I truly hope that you will take any of these opportunities to join me for more teachings that I pray will encourage you and help you to grow in the Lord.

We are moving forward together,

Denise Renner

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