Discovering Ruth Archives - Page 8 of 8 - Rick Renner Ministries

Denise was asked: What advice would you give to mothers of grown children who want to know how to support, love, and pray for their children who are not living godly lifestyles?

When children are past a certain age (about 18 and older), you have to give them to the Lord. There has to be some kind of surrender of your heart: surrendering worry, care, control, manipulation, and anxiety. Exchange those unfruitful behaviors and emotions for trusting God — and you might have to do it every day, several times a day. If all you are doing is worrying about your grown children and trying to control them, you are stopping what God wants to do for them. And you aren’t able to deliver them! So the faster you discover that you can’t deliver them and that you need to get out of the way, the sooner God can work in their lives.

Of course you can’t excuse their sin or lower the standards, but you do need to continue to love them. Don’t judge them or condemn them. Let them know that you love them even though you don’t agree with what they are doing because if you don’t let them know in a civil way (not nagging) that you don’t agree with their choices, it’s not an honest relationship.

Denise was asked: When making decisions for your younger children, what helped you to trust that you were making the best and most godly choices you could make?

In John 10:4 and 5, Jesus said, “My sheep know My voice and a stranger they won’t follow.” I just had to trust the Lord that He was going to lead me.

When we were in Jelgava, Latvia, we wanted to get the boys into school, and so we found a Christian Latvian school. Well, the boys didn’t speak Latvian and they were just learning to speak Russian, but the school administration said, “We have English-speaking teachers, and we will make sure that your children understand. We promise!”

Every day for the next two months, the boys rode a bus clear across town to go to this school. One day when Rick was out of town ministering, Philip came home, and he was crying.

I said, “Philip, what’s wrong?”

He said, “Mom, the teacher called me stupid, and he said it was because I didn’t understand what he was saying.”

You can imagine how I felt. I had just spent two months of my children’s time and education and it was like a complete waste. I just felt horrible, I felt like I was a horrible mother, and I felt horrible for my children.

I was on the floor in my bedroom crying out to the Lord; He didn’t give me a solution right then, but He gave me His presence. Later, He impressed upon me that we needed to get our boys immersed in the Russian culture, so we found a Russian-speaking teacher. God led me to make that change in their education. I trusted the voice of my Shepherd — and I trusted Him to lead me.

Question: What is one verse you pray over your children?

Denise’s response:

I pray Isaiah 54:17 over my children and grandchildren: “ No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.”

And God gave me another promise found in Psalm 115:14: “The Lord shall increase you more and more, you and your children.”

Let me share with you how I received this promise. Rick was away ministering when our sons were young, and I was at home with the children. I was thankful for the open doors of opportunity to minister that Rick was experiencing, but I was missing him. One day I was praying, “Okay, Lord, so what about us?” I was wondering about the plans He had for the boys and for me. And He said, “The Lord will increase you [He was talking about me] more and more, you and your children.” And He said to me, “Denise, I am going to increase you.” And then He said, “And you can look right down to your children because that increase is going to come on Paul, Philip, and Joel. Just look for increase in your children because it’s coming.”

God promised He would do something in me, and I would be able to see the evidence of that promise when I looked at my children. It was a promise from the Lord to me! So I embraced that promise and began to pray this verse over them as well.

Question: What is one verse you pray over your children?

Denise’s response:

And God gave me another promise found in Psalm 115:14: “The Lord shall increase you more and more, you and your children.”

Question: I pray and I try to believe, so why don’t I see miracles and signs in my life?

Denise’s response:

Thank you for your question!

You asked this in a very interesting way. You said, “I pray and I try to believe….” You can’t try to believe just like you can’t try to make a cake. Either you are going to make a cake or you’re not. It’s your decision to make a cake just like it’s your decision to believe.

But the Bible can help you believe because it is the Word of God. Romans 10:17 tells us, “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.”

When you read the Bible and hear the Holy Spirit speaking to you through the words you read, it is putting faith in your heart. When you hear someone share a testimony, it has a similar effect. The Bible says in Revelation 12:11 that our testimony is so powerful, it helps defeat the devil. And when you hear testimonies of miracles, it builds your faith for miracles!

I want to invite you to watch my TV program TIME With Denise Renner. In these programs, I am always talking about miracles and the power of God because I believe that He is a miracle-worker! I have seen so many miracles in my own life, and I know this: God is the Miracle-Worker. He is the Healer. On the cross, Jesus’ flesh was ripped. The Bible says there was so much blood, and there was so much ripping of His flesh, that He was unrecognizable. Jesus took all our sickness and infirmities on His own body on the cross, and that healing- and miracle-working power is still in His blood today.

Can I be honest with you? I did not start out believing this way. Over time, my faith grew. When problems came, I chose to seek God, and He did miracles in my life. He brought healing. He brought deliverance. He brought peace.

The more you seek God, the closer He draws you to Himself and shows you who He is. So don’t be discouraged. Keep believing! Read God’s Word, listen to testimonies, and listen to sound, Bible-based preaching about God’s miracles.

Thank you again for your question and your honesty!

Question: My daughter is making mistakes as a mother, but she will not listen to my advice. What should I do?

Denise’s response:

I understand that this is a tough situation. As we grow older, we often see the mistakes that we made as parents, and we feel that we have great experience and wisdom to give to our children. And that is true, but it is also true that sometimes our children do not want to hear from us. So what do we do in a case like that?

Well, for one thing, if that is a closed door, you can’t beat it down. You have to use the wisdom that I believe God gives us as parents. I will show you what I mean.

The first thing that our children need is the same thing they needed from us when they came out of the womb — our love and our acceptance of them. I don’t know how hard the situation is with your daughter, but before you give any kind of advice, ask yourself, What is my daughter doing right? How is she a good mother? What has she already been through? How can I encourage her as a mother?

In other words, instead of telling your daughter what to do to correct what you think she’s doing wrong, think about how you can tell her what she is doing well.

You see, in any bad situation it is easy to see the bad, but with a little more effort, you can choose to see the good. First Corinthians 13:8 shows us the wisdom of God concerning any situation we are in. It says, “Love never fails….”

Pray and ask the Lord, “Lord, how can I show my daughter that I love her? I know that she is making mistakes, but how can I show her that I love her and esteem her as a mother?” If you pray that prayer, God will show you! He knows all about your daughter and what she needs.

As parents, when we deal with our older children, sometimes we speak from a place of fear instead of speaking from a place of wisdom and love. You don’t want to speak from a place of fear because fear brings torment, and you do not want that fear or torment to enter your daughter’s heart. If you do, she might say, “I have to guard my heart from my mother because I am afraid!”

You do not want to do that! Ask God how you can lift up your daughter. Pray about that, and if you need to bring correction, remember to speak it in love and not in fear.

Question: How do I pray for someone who struggles with schizophrenia?

Answer:

Well, first I want to say that this is very difficult, and God cares about your situation. Sometimes when something goes on for a long long time, it can seem like there is no answer. But we believe in the power of prayer, and we serve a God who hears and answers us as we trust Him.

I want to tell you a short testimony. I heard about a girl who was in a terrible situation. She was around people who hated her, who didn’t want her alive, and who left her for dead. And this girl almost died. But then, a woman walked by and heard her crying, and the woman saved her life.

You may be thinking, That sounds like a great story, but that’s not the end of the story. After that happened, this precious girl was still rejected over and over again. Finally, when she was in her 80s, she lost her mind. But one day she was with this Christian woman, and God said to this woman, “I want you to baptize her!” So, the Christian woman baptized her, and when she was baptized, her mind came back to her! It was a miracle! And this woman in her 80s was able to receive Jesus as her Savior.

Now, you see, it looked like a hopeless situation, but through the prayers and obedience of that Christian woman, the woman who had such a horrible life was saved. She is in heaven for eternity. God can do something impossible for you. Don’t give up believing for Him to do it. We love you!