Discovering Ruth
Q: How can I get rid of guilt?
Denise’s Answer: You need to realize the price of the Blood of Jesus. The sacrifice He made on the Cross with His blood was payment for our guilt. Why do I say that? Because Jesus hung on the Cross as the guilty one. He hung there as the one who was shamed. He hung there as the one who was sick. Why? Because God has to put our sin on the sinless Lamb of God.
There was no other sacrifice that was worthy of the Blood to put our sins on. In the Old Testament, they had to sacrifice animals — man’s blood was already contaminated. That’s why false gods can’t pay for our sins, sickness, or disease — they don’t have holy blood! Their blood couldn’t pay for our sins because their blood is just like our blood. But Jesus’ blood was holy blood. It was perfect for the sacrifice. When Jesus hung on the Cross, He absolutely took care of your guilt. There’s nothing you can do to rid yourself of guilt other than believing in what He did for you in the Cross.
Look at Second Corinthians 5:21, which says, “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” It was God’s idea to put our sins on Jesus, but Jesus didn’t just take our sin — He became sin on the Cross! The blameless, holy Lamb of God became sin so that we might be the righteousness of God in Him. Isn’t that amazing?
Now let’s look at Romans 8:1. It reads, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flash, but according to the Spirit.” In Christ Jesus, you have been made righteous. Whatever guilt you’re dealing with, because of the Blood of Jesus, it looses it’s grip over your life!
If this is hard for you to believe, you need to keep studying these verses. Keep putting the Word in your heart, your mind, and in front of your eyes. It’s not just about hearing the truth — it’s knowing the truth. Jesus said that if you know the truth, you will be free (see John 8:32). Again, if you’re struggling to truly believe that Jesus took away your guilt and shame, study these scriptures. Think about these scriptures. Tell God, “It’s so fantastic that Jesus took my guilt! But I don’t fully understand how I can not be guilty.” Just ask the Lord to show you, and He will.
Not one of us was deserving of Jesus’ great sacrifice, but it’s by the Lord’s grace and mercy that we can receive it!
Discovering Ruth
Q: How do you honor parents who have abandoned you?
Denise’s Answer: If your parents aren’t in your life, for one reason or another, what you can do to honor them is to pray for them. Many times, people who dont have their birth-parents in their life have guardians or a close friend’s parents they look up to. Even if you don’t have your parents in your life, God will bless the honor you do give to the authority figures in your life.
But what’s really important is that you forgive. Before we dive into the Word, I want to tell you a story about a woman who was in a situation very similar to the one in your question.
This friend of mine is now a very powerful evangelist, and she has traveled all over the world. When she was about 35 years old, she was standing alone in the kitchen in her parent’s house. She noticed some papers lying on the kitchen table, and had never seen these papers before. So she picked them up and started reading. As she read, she began to understand that her and her brother had been adopted as children! Can you imagine?
Instead of being discouraged or feeling betrayed by her adoptive parents, my friend began doing all she could think to do to find and reconnect with her birth mother. One day, she found her! When she found her mother, she thought, “Oh, my mother is going to be so excited to see me! We’ll fellowship together, I can tell her about everything going on in my life, and introduce her to her grandchildren and her son-in-law. She will have a family she never even knew she had!”
Finally came the day she decided to visit her birth mother for the first time. She approached the house and knocked on the door. Her heart was filled with so much expectation about this miraculous reunion with her birthmom. The door finally opened, and she said to the woman standing there, “I’d like to come in and talk with you. I just found out that I’m your daughter!” She was brimming with anticipation. But instead of welcoming her inside, her mother told her, “I didn’t want you in my life then, and I don’t want you in my life now.”
Can you imagine how much this must have hurt? Of course! She felt one of the strongest feelings of rejection a person can feel. But do you know what she did? She just started crying out to the Lord, “Lord, what do I do now? How do I get over this? You have gotten me through so much, but this is really hard. My own mother doesn’t want me.” And the Lord reminded her of a verse in Ephesians.
Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love.
— Ephesians 1:4
After reading this verse, she heard the Lord say, “Maybe your mother didn’t want you, but I wanted you so much that I chose you before I chose the foundation of the entire world! I wanted you, and you are accepted by Me.”
Ephesians 1:6 says, “To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” Friend, you’re not the rejected, you’re the accepted! You are sought-after! As my friend began to meditate and think about what the Lord said to her, she became at peace and said, “Lord, my mother didn’t want me, but You chose me. You came after me before I was even in my mother’s womb! I forgive my mother, and I receive Your love.”
You may be reading this while dealing with feelings of rejection. Maybe it wasn’t by your mother or father, but perhaps you’ve been rejected by a husband, a brother, a boss, or a best-friend, and it felt like you were put away. I’m telling you right now that if you’re born-again, you’re not rejected, you’re accepted! YOU are the one He chose! You are just the one He wanted. And friend, it is from that place of receiving God’s love that you can forgive those who rejected you and embrace that great love from your amazing Heavenly Father.
Because we live in an imperfect world, there will always be people out there who will reject us. But we are never rejected by Jesus! We are accepted and beloved in Him!
Discovering Ruth
Q: How much influence do parents have on their children?
Denise’s Answer:Thank you for your question! First, the answer is yes. A mother has great influence over her children negatively or positively. You are an authority figure in their lives, and when authority figures speak into young children, their words carry a lot of power.
I’ll give you an example from my own childhood. My dad was my authority figure. And in the heart of a little child, their parents can do no wrong — the child believes what the parents says wholeheartedly without a single doubt in their mind.
One day, my dad looked over at me and said, “Denise, you walk like a cow.” At the time, I knew deep down he was only trying to help me, and he didn’t know his words would have an impact on me, but they did! In fact, this one comment had such a negative impact on me, I turned to Jesus to take those words out of my mind! It wasn’t the truth.
The devil uses people in your life to try to put your God-ordained calling to a grinding hault. And I’m sorry to say, but the devil was using my dad in that moment. There was no way my father could have known that I would one day walk across countless stages, but the devil was trying to put a stop to my future.
You want your mouth as a parent to lift up the heart of your child. Rick and I used to tell our children, “You’re a leader,” constantly. Philip had a hard time with this at a point in his life when the devil was trying to tell him he was stupid. But we pulled him aside, and continued to affirm and encourage him. We would say to him, “Philip, that’s not true! You’re not stupid; you’re smart. You are a leader.” We made it a point to tell our children that they could do absolutely anything God put in their hearts to do.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” It’s so important to recognize how powerful your words are as parents, and to ensure you’re planting words of positivity, encouragement, and success as opposed to words of negativity or failure. Friend, if you start believing those negative words, you’ll eventually become them. Our words hold either life or death in them, and it’s crucial that you train your mouth as a parent to say good things to your children.
Discovering Ruth
Q: Are there verses in the Bible that can be proclaimed in prayer for a job?
Denise’s Answer: Thank you so much for your question! Third John verse 2 says, “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. ” As you can see, God wants us to prosper! He wants us to work, and we were made to work!
The Lord wants to bless the work of our hands. Declare out of your mouth, “God wants to bless the work of my hands.” He doesn’t want you to be a lazy person! In fact, the Bible tells us that God can’t bless a lazy person. But He can bless the work of your hands. You should look down at your hands every day and say, “God, I’m believing for a job, and I’m believing You are going to bless the work of my hands.” You can proclaim that over yourself every day! Just look at your hands and make that your confession. Look at them every morning and every night. You might think, This is silly! But it’s not silly — and God doesn’t think it’s silly!
The Lord promised in His Word that He would bless the work of your hands
Deuteronomy 28:12 says, “The Lord will open to you His good treasure, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season, and to bless all the work of your hand. You shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.” The Lord said in His Word that He would bless the work of your hands! You must claim that blessing over yourself — that your hands are blessed and your work is blessed too! And watch that blessing begin to manifest in your life.
Prayer: “Father, we pray for that person looking for a job right now — that You give them a good job. That they find that job, and serve with all their heart in that job. And that You would bless the work of their hands. In Jesus’ name, Amen!”
Discovering Ruth
Q: Will God bless my marriage if there was a sin of fornication with a married man?
Denise’s Answer: First of all, I want to say the answer is “yes!” I want to direct you to Psalm 103, and we’re going to see what the Word of God says about this. Keep in mind that King David wrote this scripture. Of course, the Holy Spirit inspired him to write every word, but this Psalm was written by King David. King David sinned a great sin. Most everybody familiar with the Bible knows about this sin. But if you aren’t familiar, David caused one of his most powerful men to die on the battlefield because he slept with his wife, and David got her pregnant with his child. So David committed adultery, he lied, and deceived, and he committed murder. We as people say that those are great sins. And maybe you consider your question about adultery to be a great sin. But let’s look at what the Bible says in Psalm 103:1-3, “Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases.” Remember, this is King David who wrote these scriptures! And he sinned a great sin, but listen to the joy in him! Listen to the tone of victory in his writing! He doesn’t sound like a man who is hanging his head in condemnation. He said, “Bless the lord, O, my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name!” And in the next verse he wrote, “…who forgives all your iniquities.” How many iniquities does He forgive? The Lord forgives all of them! He forgives all sins. As far as the East is from the West, so far has He removed our transgressions from us [check for verse].
Now, the North and South will eventually come together and touch, but the West and East will never touch. God is saying, “What I removed from you is permanently removed!” Read that again. Praise God! When God forgives, He doesn’t bring it up again! It’s as if it never happened. First John 1:9 says, “[verse]” Does that sound like He would say to you, “Well, you did commit a really bad sin, so I can’t bless you”? No! Do you see that reaction in King David’s life? No! Of course, King David sinned a tremendous sin. But then he repented. And God even blessed his marriage with Bathsheba, the woman he committed adultery with. The same woman who was the wife of the husband King David sent out to be killed. And just think! Through King David and Bathsheba, King Solomon — the wisest and richest man in the world — was born! Does it look like God was trying to hold back His blessings in King David’s life because of his sin?
Friend, after you repent, your sin is gone! That is how great God’s love and forgiveness is. He is nothing like people/mankind. People can say, “Oh, but do you remember what you did? I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t know if God can bless you.” But that’s not the truth. When God forgives, God removes that sin forever. Praise His holy name! I don’t know anybody who can forgive like that! We’re supposed to — we have Christ in us. Christ has that kind of love, and therefore, we have that kind of love, and we should give it to one another. But God did it perfectly. So I want to reiterate, if you have repented of your sin, you can confidently ask God to bless you and your family. Yes — absolutely yes!
Discovering Ruth
Q: Can God’s plan for my life change?
Denise’s Answer: First of all, thank you so much for your question! I want to start by stating that the answer is yes. The answer is yes because you have such a great salvation. In First Peter 1:18 and 19, the Bible says, “Knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as a lamb without blemish and without spot.” So to answer your question, “If someone have left God, will they be able to return to God’s plan after repenting?”, it’s an absolute yes because of how powerful your salvation is. You see, if your salvation depended on doing everything right, I don’t know if any of us would make it to Heaven. It’s something greater than just how we act or behave. Our salvation is based on what He did!
Let’s take another look at First Peter 1:18 and 19, which declares, “Knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible thing, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your faithers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as a lamb without blemish and without spot.” We were not saved by corruptible things or even by traditions. How are we saved? There is only one way — the precious Blood of Christ. That Blood was the perfect sacrifice. Notice it says, “…as a lamb without blemish and without spot.” Jesus was perfect — the perfect sacrifice for our sins. Let me ask you a question: When you came to Christ, did you think that God knew that you would mess up?” Do you think He knew that you could ever have doubt, be fearful, be angry, or hurt someone’s feelings? Of course He knew! But He gave his blood for you and me still. Not because we would be perfect. So why did He do it? John 3:16 gives us the answer: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” God didn’t save you because you’re perfect. God chose you — you didn’t chose Him! So when we mess up and repent, of course we can return to the plan that was created just for us from the beginning.
But what happens when we sin what we might call a “great sin.” We categorize sin, but God doesn’t. The Bible says if you sin in one offense, you’re guilty of the whole law (see James 2:10). No matter the sin you’ve committed, His Blood is still there and the Spirit of God is still there. And many times after we have messed up, it takes the renewing of our mind to believe what God has done for us. The flesh wants to condemn us — to tell us that we’ll never be able to move forward. Your flesh might say, “Well, you know God loves you, but you’ll never be able to do what was in your heart before.” That is the accuser of the brethren — that is a lie! But you have to renew your mind in the truth. You must remind yourself that your salvation is so great that you can fulfill the plan for your life, even after committing a great sin.
Discovering Ruth
Q: What should you do if your husband doesn’t let you cut your hair?
Denise’s Answer: Thank you for your question! Of course, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that some people have the ability to grow long hair, and it’s beautiful! Whenever I see women with long hair, I always admire them because when I tried to grow my hair long, it would always get too frizzy. So if you have long, beautiful hair, be thankful for that! And be thankful that your husband notices. The Bible tells us as wives, we should honor our husbands (see Ephesians 5:22)! Personally, I try to honor my husband with how I dress. I ask his opinion when I am choosing what to wear. Sometimes, I even give him little fashion shows! I will try on a few outfits and ask, “What do you think about this one? Or what about this outfit?” It’s fun, and I’m honoring my husband at the same time. I actually consider it an honor to wear an outfit that he likes because I’m pleasing him. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” So if your husband prefers your hair long, I wouldn’t take it as an offense — I would take it as a compliment! Keeping your hair long is a form of honoring your husband, just like the Bible says. I hope this encourages you and answers your question!
Discovering Ruth
Q: One of my close friends owes me a big check. It’s been two years, and she still hasn’t paid me back. I don’t want to sin by being angry, and I don’t want an argument — if it were a small amount of money, I would just forgive her, but it’s a large amount that I just can’t forget about. Pastor, what should I do?
Denise’s Answer: I can’t tell you what to do, but if it’s already been two years, I would say you shouldn’t lose any sleep over this. Forgive this girl and sow this money. Let it go. Matthew 18 is an entire chapter on forgiveness in which Jesus compares forgiveness to debt.
The servant in Matthew 18 owed his master a lot of money. The servant came to his master and said, “ Have mercy on me! Please release me from my debt!” And the master forgave his debt of thousands and thousands of dollars. But after he was forgiven, a fellow servant owed him a very small amount of money. The fellow servant said, “Please have mercy on me! I can’t pay you.” The first servant put his hands around the fellow servant’s neck and said, “Pay me what you owe me!” in response. When he still couldn’t pay, he had his fellow servant thrown in prison! Do you know what the master said? He said, “I forgave you of so much. You asked me to forgive you, and I forgave you. Now your fellow servant, who owes you very little money, can’t pay you, and you put him in prison? Shouldn’t you forgive him because I forgave you?” I encourage you to read the entire chapter for a look at the full story.
When you forgive a debt, it’s like you’re giving it to the Lord. Say, “Lord, that person did me wrong. But I forgive her!” That’s giving it to the Lord! The Bible says what we give, He gives us back more. The Lord knows how difficult it is for us to five, but when we do, we are free! Great blessings are in store!
I know this is a very personal situation, but you don’t need to hang on to it any longer! Forgive your friend!
Irina’s Answer: One day, I was talking to a very good friend of mine about whether we need to forgive people’s debt or ask them to return the money, and she gave me some amazing advice — advice that I still use to this day! She said, “You know when people ask me to give them money, I ask myself if it’s going to be a burden for me if they never return it. And if I come to the conclusion that because of the amount, what they’re asking will be a burden, it doesn’t matter how close I am with that person or how much they’ve asked me, I will say no because I don’t want to lose that person as a friend.
If I give, I’m making a decision not to ask for that amount of money to be returned. It doesn’t matter whether they will pay me back or not. And in your case, you already gave that money, but trust me, life is going to be so much better and lighter if you decide that it’s okay if you never see that money again, and if they do return it, it’s a nice bonus! Say to the devil, Everything you have stolen from me will be given back seven times more! Ask God for His blessing and tell Him with an open heart how you really feel about this situation. I sincerely hope we helped you let it go and trust in the Lord to return to you seven times more than what the devil has stolen!
Discovering Ruth
Q: How do you deal with anger or irritation when your child is disobedient?
Irina’s Answer: Well, I think it’s a very common question for a lot of parents.
Denise’s Answer: I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you what Rick and I did in this situation when we were parents raising our three children. Paul was our firstborn — I think we made some mistakes at first with him because he was our firstborn, and you don’t really know what you’re doing with your first child.
At first, when Paul was being disobedient, Rick and I thought it was so cute, but, of course, it wasn’t cute — it was disobedient and disrespectful. It wasn’t until I read a book that encouraged me in the fact that it was loving to discipline my children that I realized this. Take the Ten Commandments, for example. One of them says, “Honor your father and mother…” (see Exodus 20:12). This is also the only commandment that includes a promise! Exodus 20:12 reads, “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” In other words, it says if you’re obedient and respectful of your parents, you will live long and well on Earth.
When I realized these things, I thought, “Lord, I have to train our boys to honor me and Rick!” So, we began to discipline our children. When we spanked them for being disobedient, we always asked them afterward, “Why did we just do that?” And they would always reply, “Because you love me, and you want us to live a long time.” We would then tell them they were right and prayed together. That’s what we did, and I truly believe this helped them understand and honor their parents!
But to answer your question about getting irritated, Proverbs 16:32 says, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” You never want to discipline your children in anger! When you discipline your children, you’re disciplining their flesh. The Bible says faithfulness is within them, so we’re just getting them back on the right track when we discipline them. The Bible also says that when you discipline them, it brings peace. The key is to discipline without anger or irritation. This is what God called you to do as a parent, so it’s important to do it without emotion but with unconditional love for them and their futures.
Another important thing to remember is that there’s no need to get angry at your children because they’re simply acting like children. You must learn to control yourself and your anger. Proverbs 15:28 says, “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”
Here’s another example: when Rick and I’s boys were little, Rick was gone a lot. One day, the children got into a big fight — everybody was yelling at each other! So I put one child in the left corner, one in the right corner, and our last child in another corner of the room. I stood in the middle, saying, “Stay there and be quiet! I’m going to pray about what to do.” And when I received instructions from the Lord, I was at peace and had confidence. I didn’t discipline them out of anger or irritation but out of love for my precious children.
You have to train your children to be respectful and honorable! The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” When I came upon that verse, I said to myself, “I love my sons, and I want them to live long lives.” It’s very important to have confidence in this area. Your children are not your enemy — they’re not trying to ruin your day! They’re just children, and you’re their parent! It’s important to follow what the Bible says in this area of disciplining your children.
Discovering Ruth
Q: How can a woman deal with age-related changes in addition to a healthy lifestyle?
Denise’s Answer: Thank you for your question! First of all, there are going to be companies that spend a lot of money on commercials and advertisements who want you to buy their products — that is true about any advertisement. My answer to you is to say, of course, I’m not a counselor, and I can’t tell you what to do, but here’s my opinion: If something like getting Botox or cosmetic surgeries is within your budget, and your husband is in agreement with you, I just suggest that you do research before making any decisions. If you want to do it, and everyone is okay with it, there’s no problem with getting those treatments! The Bible doesn’t say anything against it. But know this, if you start this kind of treatment, you will have to keep doing them. I know some women who do it when they go to a wedding, vacation, or special occasion. Sometimes, you just want to do something to look more pretty — that’s normal! It’s your choice to do what you want, and again, there’s nothing in the Bible that says it’s a sin. What is a sin is for someone who doesn’t do anything for themselves to look at others who do treatments or wear makeup with judgment. It’s not on your face, but it’s in your heart!
Irena’s Answer:
I think it’s natural for all women to have the desire to look prettier. I almost never hear from women that they don’t want to look nice or unattractive. Because if a woman loves herself, she likes to take care of herself. For instance, I like going for a massage. Even just letting yourself rest is taking care of yourself!
Of course, you should be wise about it. You have to stay within your family’s budget, and there will be seasons in life when you can’t afford it. The Bible says in Romans 14:5, “One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind.”
Another important thing to remember is to have your husband on board — you both need to be on the same page. God created us all perfect in His image, but all of us need to care of our bodies.