Am I Really God’s Creation?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: I can’t believe that my character was created by God, and my height, weight, and looks are substandard. I feel inferior when I see my flaws. How could God have created that?

A:  Well, first of all, I want to say very clearly that God did not create the thorns in you — your fears, your pride, your sickness. He doesn’t put those things in us, but He does make us all so different. I mean, look at the creation of all the 8 billion people in the world, and you’re the only one who has those eyes. There’s not another person on the earth that has your voice. No one has your fingerprint. Every time God creates a boy or girl inside of the womb of the mother, it’s brand new, completely unique. That is amazing!

Psalm 139:13-15 says, “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.”

David is talking about the intricate creation that God did inside of your mother’s body to make you. It’s like there is a book in heaven with your name on it, and it has all the unique and wonderful details of how He made you. He decided how far apart your eyes were going to be, how long your nose would be, what your voice would sound like, what color your hair would be. He put together all those things while you were still microscopically tiny in your mother’s womb! That’s amazing!

Before I move on, I want to tell you some things about your body.  These are scientific facts, because I feel that you’re judging yourself, and I just want you to know how amazing you are just as a human being:

I’m telling you these things for two reasons.

  1. I want you to realize that all this and so many other little miracles are happening in your body all the time, and you have nothing to do with it. Before you have even done a thing, you are already absolutely amazing.
  2. I want you to see that you have no room to judge yourself. You see, when you judge yourself, you are thinking the wrong thoughts, so I want to give you some right thoughts, thoughts about how amazing you really are. When you replace thoughts of judgement with thoughts of awe and praise, you have no room to judge yourself anymore.

The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4:3, “But with me, it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you. In fact, I do not even judge myself.”

Who are we to judge ourselves? The apostle Paul didn’t even judge himself. There are so many things we can thank God for, so we should not have any room for looking down on ourselves. Maybe everything in yourself is not the way you would like it. Maybe it doesn’t match what the world thinks is beautiful. Maybe it’s touched by sin and sickness, or maybe you just don’t want your nose to be so long. I don’t know what it is you’re struggling with exactly, but I know this: God intricately took time to form you inside of your mother’s womb, so who are you to judge yourself?

How do I Keep a Gentle Tongue?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: How do I communicate with my husband so that my concern for him is not perceived as disrespectful? Also, how do I control my emotions and avoid offense or conflict when my good intentions are misunderstood?

A:  This is such a wonderful question, and just like so many questions, we can find the answer in the Word of God.

Galatians 5:15 says, “But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!” When I read this verse, I see a great warning and great wisdom. I studied this verse, and it says that if we start biting at each other about all those things we don’t like, even if it’s just on the inside, eventually, it’s going to come out, like a pot boiling over, and we’re going to start devouring each other like wild animals!

Now, if you love your husband, then you don’t want to devour him, and that’s why you need to capture those thoughts as soon as possible. It’s easier to capture the first thought than it is the 10th one. It’s easier to capture the fifth one than it is the hundredth one, but no matter where we are, we have to capture those thoughts as soon as possible. We’ve got to start taking control of our thoughts, because the thoughts are connected to the emotions, and if we let nasty emotions rule us, then we will end up devouring that husband that we love instead of helping him.

So, here’s my counsel to you. Instead of thinking about how much he hurt your feelings or how wrong he is, start thanking God for him. Even if you have to write it down on a piece of paper, just get those thankful words out in the open. You see, when thoughts have been aggressively speaking in your mind, you have to be aggressive in counteracting them with thanksgiving — “God, I thank you for my husband. I thank you that I have a husband. I thank you for his job. I thank you for how hard he works. I thank you for his strength.”

If we are not speaking from a place of thanksgiving, our words to our husband are not going to be loving or helpful or supportive, so we need to take control of those feelings. It’s not about just saying, “Okay, I guess I’ll just stop feeling that way.” We can’t do that, but we can control our thoughts, and we can replace the bitter thoughts with thanksgiving, thinking every good thing you can about your husband. Be thankful, and it will bring so much peace to your heart, and that peace will come out in the way you speak to your husband.

Where Do I Get Knowledge

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q:  Hosea 4:6 says “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” What is knowledge from God and how do we develop this skill?

A:  Well, very simply, you have to really dig into the Word of God on your own.

I respect all kinds of ministers. I’m married to, I think, the best Bible teacher in the world, but nothing replaces my personal fellowship with God in the Word. It’s good to receive knowledge from other teachers, but when I open the Word of God and it’s just me and Him, this Word starts telling me who He is and who I am. I become a partaker of His divine nature, like it says in 2 Peter 1:4.

Let me illustrate this for you. Imagine you have a table in front of you, and it is set with all sorts of delicious food. If you sit there and just stare at it and say, “Oh, I love that soup. That’s such a delicious-looking cake. This food looks so beautiful,” you’re not going to actually know anything about it except what it looks like.

A lot of people, even believers, do that with their Bible. They look at their Bible sitting nicely in their living room or their bedroom, and they say, “Oh, it’s such a nice Bible. Oh, I love the Word of God.” But if you don’t open it, if you just look at this table and don’t eat from it, you’re not going to taste it, you’re not going to get its answers — it’s just a nice book!

So many times, we sit back and say, “Oh, I have so many problems. I need to call my sister or my friend. I want to tell her my problem,” and the Bible, everything that we need, just sits there. Friend, we need to get into the Word of God and really read it and study it for ourselves!

You might say, “I’m not a Bible scholar. I can’t just pick up the Bible and study it like that.” Well, I didn’t start out like a Bible scholar either. I just kept studying and looking for answers for my life. I just wanted to know Him, and if you want to know Him, you have to taste what’s in this Bible, just like if you want to taste the food on the table, you’ve got to put your fork in there and take a bite; then it can start to bring you the sustenance that you need. 

I’m telling you, you must have your own time with God. If you don’t get your own nourishment, you have to depend on somebody else and what they say, but if you want to know Him deeper and get the best answers and wisdom, then you have to read the Word for yourself. It says in Joshua 1:8 that if we will read this Word and meditate on it, our life will have good success, so that’s the answer.

Love Rejected

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: How should we respond to the rejection we receive when seeking to share God’s love with others?

A: I think you might have your own answer right there in your question.

Now, I would agree with you that sometimes it’s really hard when you want to love somebody and bless them and they’re not interested in what you have. We can feel that rejection and let it hurt us, and if we respond without Jesus, we might even let ourselves grow bitter towards that person who we were trying to love.

But right there is the answer to this problem: love. That same love that you are trying to share with them is the love that forgives! That same love that you are talking about in your question is the love that believes the best of that person who rejected you!

Sometimes, when somebody will not receive my love, for whatever reason, I say to myself, “They don’t really know what they’re doing. They don’t really know. I need to give them mercy. I need to keep my heart open.” We certainly will not be responding in Christ if we let that rejection close our hearts to that person!

Proverbs 4:23 says,  “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

The Word of God is saying that we need to guard our hearts from offense and unforgiveness, because our hearts are so important to the way we live our whole lives, friend. They influence every decision we make.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

That’s the kind of love that we are asked to give to others. If we depend on Him, we can give that love, even when others reject us and the message we carry.

Additional verses for study: 

Romans 12:17–18 NKJV
“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Luke 6:27–28 NKJV
“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.”

1 Peter 3:9 NKJV
“Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”

Colossians 3:12–13 NKJV
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

1 Corinthians 13:7 NKJV
“[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

God’s Word for Self-Hate

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q:  What should I do if I don’t know how to make friends and I hate myself for it?

A:  A deeper understanding of the word of God will help you with this!

Many years ago, I had this cloud of condemnation hanging around me. Even though I was a Christian, I didn’t know enough about the Word of God to understand it, so I always felt like I wasn’t enough. I sounded pitiful when I came to God.

 But then I found this scripture while listening to a sermon about righteousness in Christ Jesus. So I want to share with you what I learned that day.

Romans 3:21 says, “But now the righteousness of God is revealed apart from the law being witnessed by the law and the prophets.”

You can’t do every single thing right, and that tends to be where we get these horrible feelings about ourselves. If we try to do everything right in our religious flesh, it might make us feel a little better, but that’s not always the case, because feelings are tricky! We can’t depend on them. We have to depend on something that is stronger than our feelings, and as Christians, we have something like that: The Word of God and what it says about us.

Romans 3:21 is telling us that the righteousness of God comes through faith in Jesus Christ, not through your life being amazing or you knowing how to handle everything, but because you trust in Him. It’s not about what you did—it’s about what He did!

We are talking about the righteousness of God that comes through FAITH in Christ Jesus! Just a few verses later, the Bible tells us that We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but we are justified freely through His grace! When we believe in Jesus dying on the cross, it’s as if we had never sinned. We are made blameless, Not through our own work but through Jesus!

That’s what the blood of Jesus is all about. The guilt and hate you may be feeling is from the enemy. The devil is the accuser, and to deal with the accuser, you need to answer with the Word of God. Believe in Jesus and confess that you stand unblamable in His sight because of His sacrifice, by His blood, through faith!

The Gospel is so powerful! God has passed over our sins and demonstrated His righteousness through the cross. We mess up sometimes! It’s not our acts that keep us in Christ, it’s His power of salvation in us!

This is the greatest news we could be given! Thank you for your question!

Advice For Engaged Son

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q:  My son is engaged to a girl from church but our relationship with her did not work out in view of her character. And I want it to work out in view of her character and I want it to be completely different. Please give advice.

A:  Well, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can at least tell you my experience.

When I got married, my character was not what it is now. I loved the Lord with all my heart and I certainly loved my husband and I loved people. But I had other things that needed to be checked.

Now my precious mother in law was someone who would write cards to everybody. Not just thank you cards, but birthday cards, condolence cards, she would send all kinds of cards! I wasn’t someone who sends cards.

In America, it’s tradition to send thank you cards after you get married to those who you received gifts from. However this was over 40 years ago. Well, for all the presents that we got, I didn’t send a single thank you card. I thanked them at the wedding but I never sent them a card.

But my mother in law was perfect at this. She could have judged me. And her house was perfect! My house was not! God had to do some work with me! So, what I’m saying is, be patient, just love this girl. Matthew 7:12 says, “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.”

So if you want your daughter in law to receive you, you also should receive her.

But I want to give you some wisdom. Your son is not marrying you. He’s marrying her. This is their life together and you want them to be happy. That’s the most important thing.

In fact I made a rule for myself to know the perfect daughter-in-law: She loves Jesus and she loves my son.

You didn’t raise her! She came from a different family! All my daughter-in-laws came from Russia and I wasn’t raised by Russian parents. So there will be things between the two of you that you may not understand. But one thing you can understand is loving each other.

The Gift of Tongues for Prophecy

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: Do I understand that speaking in tongues is given to any believer for his personal prayer life and the gift of tongues is for prophecy in the church and is not given to everyone? If this is so, how is it possible to receive the gift of tongues?

A:  You are absolutely correct. I want you to look in 1 Corinthians 14.

It says, “pursue love and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.”

Now, first of all, I want you to look at the words “desire spiritual gifts.” 

I’ve said this before, as you know, my husband is a Greek scholar. I’ve heard him teach the Bible a few thousand times in over four decades. And this word “desire” is like a STRONG desire. It’s not like “well, you know, I could if I wanted to” it’s a position of the heart. You have to want the Lord to use you. And to speak words that will benefit the church and be a blessing. It’s a desire. 

And you see, it says pursue love. Love is the highest, and immediately it says, desire spiritual gifts. So we are to pursue love, and love as much as possible. It’s a desire to love better, forgive faster, be more patient, stay positive. 

Those are all characteristics of love and we are to pursue that! Our selfish nature tends to ask not how we can love others, but how can they love us. We’re born with this! Think of a little tiny baby, they command the attention of the whole house. Why? Because the baby isn’t getting what it wants. 

We sometimes do this as adults too. We start to command that attention. That is our fallen nature. But the Bible says in Romans 5:5, that when we got born again, the Holy Spirit came in, and He came in with the very love of God. Into our heart. We are equipped to love one another. 

The Apostle Paul  even writes and says to pursue love. Pursue peace! In that scripture, pursue is used as a hunting term. So, you hunt down peace. Now I have some friends and they are hunters. They do the most ridiculous things. They’ll dress in certain clothes so they look like a tree, sit in a tree for hours, so that they can shoot an animal. They are after that animal! This word says pursue love like a hunter. But then it says, desire spiritual gifts. 

Now, why would you desire spiritual gifts? The Bible says when you speak in tongues you edify yourself, give thanks to God well, and your spirit prays. 

So why would the Apostle Paul say pursue love, hunt it down, and desire spiritual gifts? Because spiritual gifts build one another up! When someone moves in a spiritual gift, it opens the door. When we desire it, it opens the door for each of us to receive something special from the Lord. 

When the Holy Spirit operates, He always glorifies Jesus, He always brings the will of Jesus. And it opens up our hearts more to experience Jesus. That’s why we should desire spiritual gifts, and have a heart position to want them. Desire is an action!

My Husband is wrong. What should I do?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: How to behave if it is clear that the spouse is wrong, and is mistaken in beliefs or decisions?

A: Well, I really have no Idea. 

But I do want to say, if your husband is making a decision that is illegal or immoral, that needs your attention. Because that’s going to affect you. You have power in prayer, and the Bible says in Proverbs 14:1 that a wise woman builds up her house with her hands. 

This is one of those situations where you need wisdom. And when you move in wisdom, your decisions can help build up your home. Even if your husband is making a wrong decision. 

And I mean serious wrong decisions, illegal or immoral. But you have power in prayer and with the wisdom God can give you. 

Now, one thing is really important, as you seek the Lord about this problem, maybe he wants you to talk to your husband. But I want to tell you it’s not just you telling him exactly what you think. Look with me to Ephesians 4:32 . There is a very powerful instruction for us. It says, “Be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ sake, has forgiven you.” But do you see, it says be kind to one another, we need to speak to one another truthfully. 

We’re supposed to speak truth, but it matters how you speak. Speak kindly from your heart. You don’t want to do it with blaming, fear, and resentment. You want to do it with rationale, unemotional and with kindness. 

If you need to write down what you want to say, write it down. This situation calls for prayer and thought. And it calls for God’s direction. Your relationship is precious to God. And if you’re afraid your husband is making the wrong decision, immoral or illegal, you need to invite the presence of the Holy Spirit into the midst of this problem. And say “Holy Spirit, I need your help.” If you say those words, He comes with His help.

Dating

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: I met a man with a large age difference. He is 30 years older than me. We realized that we have feelings for each other. Is that okay for a believer? I want everything to be according to God’s word.

A:  Of course, you can marry someone with a big difference in your age. 

The question for getting married is not about age. It’s about what God’s leading you to do. What is the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart? I know one couple where the wife is 25 years younger than the husband and they have a wonderful marriage. 

But you also have to look at this realistically. When you’re 40 he’ll be 70.  Or 30 and 60. But there’s no scripture in the Bible that says there should or shouldn’t be a big difference between you and your spouse. 

It’s important to understand they’re going to be older than you and you’re still going to be in your prime. You just have to look at it realistically and decide. 

Make sure you have peace in your heart. Marriage is a beautiful thing! It’s an institution that God created and the way that you love and treat one another, you can have beautiful years together. 

I just pray right now that God gives you wisdom and confirmation through the Holy Spirit.

Spiritual Development

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: What qualities are important for a wife to develop, whose husband leads a church and large ministry?

A:  We’re going to get some counsel from the word of God!

History says that Bathsheba, who was the queen, David’s wife, was who wrote Proverbs 31! This was her advice to Solomon on who he should choose as a wife. 

So we can find a lot of wisdom here. So, we’re going to start with verse 11. It says “The heart of her husband safely trusts her so he will have no lack of gain and she does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” 

This woman in a high position, to do this, she’s got to have some inner decisions about her character. She has to decide to forgive. If you’re good to someone all the days of your life, especially your husband. 

It takes forgiveness to be good to your husband all the days of your life. The Bible says we’re all tempted the same way. It’s easy to get tempted to fear, get angry, judge, criticize, hate, be intimidated, discouraged, disappointed. So in that way, I want to say, whether you’re in a position where your husband has a big ministry or you’re serving your children or your family at home and nobody sees you. We’re all tempted the same way and we’re going to have to make decisions to forgive and do good all the days of our life. 

I think we’re all tempted to complain at times. So, the opposite of complaining is being thankful. Then I want to go over one more thing, let’s go to verse 25. It says “Strength and honor are her clothing and she will rejoice in times to come.” This woman who is in a high position and her husband as well, it was important to her to have this character. 

No matter who you are, your husband needs your positive attitude. He needs your support and positive attitude! Another thing that is important is “She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” 

No matter what your husband does as you said, whether he’s a leader or not. You still have to discipline your own mouth. And learn to put the law of kindness in your mouth. That’s important for everybody. And I think it’s going to require a lot of prayer. It’s important to God. He will lead you and guide you.