Should I Demand My Money Back?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q:  Two years ago, my sister borrowed a large sum from me. I had set that money aside to one day purchase a home, but she still hasn’t paid me back, and it’s hard for me to forgive her. Was it right of me to lend her the money? And now that she still hasn’t repaid it, do I have the right to claim it back?”

A.  Thank you for your question. This is a very hard situation.

First of all, I want to remind you that Matthew 5:42 says, “Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.” The Bible is clear that even when people are not generous with us and won’t pay us back, we are called to be generous to them. That’s the way Jesus did it.

But of course, your situation is difficult because this is your sister. You gave her the money, and you probably believed that she’d keep her word, so maybe you’re disappointed now. Maybe you even have offense and bitterness in your heart towards your sister.

If that’s the case, then it is so important for you to look into your heart right now. You need to rationally look at the situation and ask yourself, “What’s more important to me? Is it the money or my sister? Do I need to let this go to keep my relationship with her?”

It’s not a fun discussion, and you may be saying to yourself, “But this just isn’t fair! That was my money, and I want to start building my house.”

Well you’re correct — it’s not fair, but our love is not tested until we are mistreated. Jesus said, “For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?” (Matthew 5:46). It’s easy to love people who love you and treat you right, but this situation is calling you up to a higher level in your love. And the Lord is going to help you in this. The Bible says in Romans 5:5 that the Holy Ghost has poured the love of God into our hearts, so you have the equipment for the situation.

I’m not saying that your sister is right or that she shouldn’t pay you back, but I want to make sure you are watching your own heart in the meantime. You’re not being treated right, so let this be a time when you look at yourself and ask, “Am I operating out of the love of God that’s in my heart? If my sister never pays me back, will I still be able to say that I love her and that I release her?”

Don’t let your heart be blocked with unforgiveness, friend. When you move in love instead, that is so powerful. It is more powerful than having all the money you need for your house, because when your heart is right and you love and forgive, God can do miracles! He can give you the money or peace or favor that you need and so much more.

What Do I Do with a Needy Husband?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q:  My husband regularly distracts me during prayer or while I’m listening to sermons. He seems to be seeking my attention on purpose, and it is causing me to lose my spiritual focus. How can I explain to him the importance of my time with God?

A.  I am so glad you asked this question, because just this week, I was reading 1 Corinthians 11, and I think it has a great answer for you. 

1 Corinthians 11:7 says, “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man.”

The first thing I want you to see here is that man is the image of the glory of God! Maybe this isn’t something you want to say to your husband, or maybe it’s something that he needs to hear from you, but whether you say it aloud or not, you need to have an attitude toward him that says, “Sweetheart, you are the image of glory of God.” That’s so important as you deal with your husband.

Now notice that this verse doesn’t say anything about if a man is saved or not saved, if he’s an alcoholic or a drug addict or not. It just says “man” — all men are the image of the glory of God.

Of course, the next part of this verse says, “but woman is the glory of man.” This is also important, because it tells you that you are very important to your husband.  Verses 8 and 9 tell us more about this special place that a wife holds in the marriage relationship: “For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.”

Ladies, there is great wisdom here about our relationships with our husbands. You see, women have an ability to work and operate on their own, without their husbands, but in my observation, men really need their wives. I’ve seen this with my husband — he wants me to be by him. If I’m gone, he wants to know when I’m getting back. He has a need for me.

Friend, that is perfectly normal, so when your husband is seeking your attention, don’t be so quick to resent or judge him. Don’t think to yourself, “Oh, he’s so needy. He can’t do anything without me,” or “He’s just bossing me around and trying to control me.” Instead recognize that there is something in him that causes him to need you. Like we just read, “Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man” (1 Corinthians 11:9).

With this attitude as your foundation, this is how you should handle it when your husband is distracting you from your time with the Lord. First of all, I would encourage you to sit down with him and watch church or read your Bible or pray together. You could also find times to do it when he’s not at home or when he’s sleeping so that you can have that time to yourself.

If it’s a problem that you really need to talk to him about, then just remember that he needs you. Look at his behavior from the perspective that you were made for him and that he needs you. Walk into that conversation with the decision that you are going to show your respect and love to him.

Once you are in that right mental space, then you can talk to him about it. In a calm, non-emotional way, you can gently and lovingly tell him, “Sweetheart, this is my only time to be able to watch this service. Would you allow me to watch this?” Don’t go into an argument or start blaming him or accusing him of not wanting you to watch church. That’s just going to cause conflict, and you want peace in your house, because the Holy Spirit works best where there is peace.

What if It’s Too Hard to Pray?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q:  I understand that when times are difficult, we need to pray and praise God more than ever, but sometimes it’s not easy. When I try to pray during my struggles, I start shaking, and I can’t say a word. How can I overcome this barrier and find the words to pray when I need them most?

A.  The first thing I want to encourage you with is that you have more power inside of you than you think.

If you’re born again, the third person of the Godhead lives on the inside of you, and He comes with so much power and wisdom that He will give to you in those difficult moments if you will just ask Him.  That knowledge is an important foundation for our prayers when we are struggling. 

The other thing I want to show you is an example from the Old Testament that I think will really instruct you. This is a story about David, before he was a king, and I really believe that this situation was the hardest thing that he faced.

While he and his men were on the run from King Saul, they made a home in this city called Ziklag, and that is where their families stayed when they were traveling. Well one day, the men came home to discover that the city had been burned down, and everything and everyone was gone!

Can you even imagine just losing everything like that — your children, your spouse, your home, and all your belongings just gone? Those men were just devastated. The Bible says they cried so much that they couldn’t cry anymore (1 Samuel 30:4).

What was even worse for David was that after losing everything, his men were starting to turn against him. It says in 1 Samuel 30:6, “Now, David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him because the soul of the people was grieved, every man for his sons and daughters….” David had lost his children and wives and home, and now these men who he had given his life to for six or seven years were so grieved that they wanted to stone him!

Friend, the Bible tells us right there that David was greatly distressed about all these things. He really was, but look at how he responded in that distress: “…But David, strengthened himself in the Lord” (1 Samuel 30:6).

Before he ever attempted to pray, he first strengthened himself in the Lord. We aren’t told exactly what that means, but it makes me think of remembering. When we are in a difficult situation, remembering is so powerful, and it can absolutely strengthen us in the Lord. Maybe David was remembering when Goliath fell to the ground and David cut off his head. Maybe he was remembering being anointed by Samuel and the promise that came with that, so he could tell himself, “I’m not going to die an early death by stoning. I’m going to be a king!”

When you are struggling, you’ve got to remember what God has done. Before you ever even pray, just strengthen yourself in the memories of God’s promises, of His faithfulness and power in the past. Just stop and think, on purpose, about how good and faithful He’s been in all the times before. It says in Hebrews that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). If He helped you before, then He hasn’t changed — He’s going to help you now.

Don’t forget, the Lord always meets us where we are. When you were still living in sin, He didn’t say, “Go clean yourself up and then you can get saved.” Instead He said, “Come as you are.” If you’re shaking and you can’t get any words out, come to Him anyway — He can handle your weakness. The next time you’re struggling, just ask him, “Jesus, help me. Help me.” When you say that, you open the door for His help. It all just starts with coming to Him and letting Him be our strength.

What Are Tithes For?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q:  Is it possible to tithe to someone or something other than the church — for example, tithing to support a specific person, like a missionary in Africa?

A.  To answer this question, we need separate tithes from offerings. You see, tithes specifically belong to the church or the place where you are being spiritually fed, but your offering is an additional contribution that can go to whoever God puts it on your heart to support.

It is important that we separate these things, because our tithing is so important to God. If you look at Malachi 3:10-11, you will see that He has such amazing promises for everyone who tithes:

“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this,” Says the Lord of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, so that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field,” says the Lord of hosts.

God says right there that when we tithe, when we contribute to His house, He will pour out so much blessing that we won’t even be able to accept it all. Then in verse 11, He promises that you will not stand alone against the devourer. God will rebuke the devourer on your behalf — all because of your tithe!

This reminds me of a story from a friend of ours. He was having his children and grandchildren over one day, and they were all swimming in the pool and having fun, but all of a sudden, they realized they couldn’t find their little girl anywhere.

What had happened was that this little three-year-old had gone under water, and her hair got caught in the vent, so she was stuck and couldn’t come back up. When they finally found her and got her out of the water, she wasn’t breathing anymore. Of course, they did everything they could, and they called the emergency services, but there were just no signs of life.

As they were waiting for the ambulance to get there, the father of that little girl was holding her in his arms, and He started praying: “God, You are the rebuker of the devourer. I am a tither, God, and You said You would rebuke the devourer for those who tithe, so I call life into this baby.”

He claimed the promise of God, and he prayed it over his dead daughter, and when the emergency people came, they were confused. They said, “Where’s the person that we’re supposed to take?” They couldn’t tell, because that little girl was running around and playing again!

That’s what God promises for a tither, friend! He will pour out blessings, and He will rebuke the devourer and keep him away from our homes and our families. That is exactly what He says, so make sure that you are setting apart your tithe from your offerings and giving God what He deserves.

Can I Return to God’s Calling for Me?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: A few years ago, I withdrew from God’s calling to me due to my fear of failure. Can I go back to this vocation and try again?

A.  The answer is absolutely.

Romans 11:29 says, “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” That means that even when God puts a gift inside of you and you don’t know how to obey and exercise that gift, He’s not going to say, “Oh, well, that’s it. I’m taking it back.” That is a part of Himself that He gave to you, so He’s not going to take it back.

We have to remember that God knows we’re made of flesh, He knows we’re made of dust, and He knows that it takes us some time to understand and trust. He also knows that sometimes, you might make a mistake, but He’s not worried about that, and neither should you be.

I always say that the person who’s making a mistake is at least moving. I’ve made mistakes, but I wouldn’t have made them if I was just sitting still, so they prove that I was really trying to do something. I’ll probably make more mistakes, and so will you, but we can’t let that stop us from giving out what God has put inside us.

You see, friend, these gifts aren’t just for us. The Bible says, “Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God” (1 Corinthians 4:1). This means that we’re not just receiving this gift and letting it look pretty and decorative. No, it’s a responsibility. Being a steward is more like working in somebody else’s house. It’s their house, but the steward is taking care of it, and that is an active job. The Word says, “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8). It’s not your job to keep the gifts of God inside you — it’s your job to give them out!

This reminds me of an amazing evangelist named Kathryn Kuhlman. She would hold all these meetings, and the Holy Spirit would just flow into the room, and so many miracles happened, so many people being healed. I actually have a friend who went to one of her meetings as a little boy. He had a brain tumor, so his eyes were crossed, and he was in excruciating pain all the time. He didn’t even want to go to her meeting, but as he was sitting far off in the balcony, she said, “Ushers, bring that little boy down to me.” The second that she touched him, his eyes were normal, and all the pain was gone from his head.

The reason I’m telling you this is because this woman — who saw so many miracles at her own meetings — would pray before she ever went on stage. She would say every time, “Father, come with Your gifts. Come with Your power.” She recognized that all those miracles and gifts were not hers — they were from God.

I want you to remember these things, friend. First, the gifts inside of you are not for you. They are God’s gifts, and you are expected to use them for the people around you. Second, God is not going to take them from you. Religion is the voice that says, “If you don’t do it right, you don’t get it anymore.” But our God is not taking anything away. If you mess up, it doesn’t matter, because He gave it to you, and His gifts are irrevocable.

 

Are Sins Passed Down?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: Do children answer for the sins of their parents?

A.  In the Old Testament, the Bible does say that the sins of the parents come on the children, but that’s not the end of the story. In the New Testament, we see that when we trust in Jesus — in His blood and His power — He washes us of all sins, even those of our parents.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” So even though the sins or curses of your parents might have come on you, you don’t have to receive them.

I want to give you an example: Five or six years ago, I began to have this rash on the side of my leg, right in the very same place and looking the very same way as something my father had struggled with until he died. It burned, it was ugly, and even when I put medicine on it, nothing helped. It was just like my dad.

Nothing was working, but then my husband one day said to a group of people, “Denise has really been struggling with this thing on her skin. Could you guys pray and agree with us for her healing?” As they all prayed, there was faith in that place, and from that point on, that place on my leg started getting better and better and better until it was gone.

Friend, I want you to understand this. I was being visited by the same thing that had plagued my father, but the power of God, the Word of God, the blood of Jesus, and the agreement of the saints is more powerful.

For some people, it might be the addictions of their parents that they are struggling with. Sometimes when someone’s father was an alcoholic, that person feels herself starting to be tempted, and she just says, “Well my father was like that, so I guess I’m going to be like that too.”

That is not a right way to be thinking! The Bible says that you’re a new creation. Old things have passed away — all things are new. You are new. You may be your father or mother’s child, but when you get born again, you gain power against those temptations or sicknesses or curses that come on you. You have the power to say, “No, I don’t have to be that way. I’m going to stand against this. God has called me to a higher place, and I do not have to repeat the same mistakes or have the same diseases as my parents.”

Friends, the blood of Jesus is powerful. It’s more powerful than your history, it’s more powerful than your DNA, and it’s more powerful than any kind of addiction or disease or anything that was in your grandparents or your parents. You are a brand-new person in Christ!

2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

Friend, this is who you really are in your spirit. Through Jesus Christ, you are not cursed. You’re not an alcoholic. You’re not a drug addict. You are not sick from this disease or that disease that was in your parent or grandparent. Instead you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Whatever you have from your parents, I tell you that in Jesus’ name it is not yours — don’t claim it anymore!

How Do I Deal with Past Sins?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: What do I do when thoughts of past sins keep coming back even after I’ve repented?

A. That is a great question, and I have something really practical for you. If you can be overwhelmed by the thoughts of your past, then you can be overwhelmed by different thoughts instead, and these thoughts are the truth of God’s Word and the truth about you.

It says in Psalm 103:12, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Friend, the east and the west will never, ever meet, so when He removes your transgressions, that’s how far apart your sins are from you. You don’t have to worry about it anymore, because you will never meet those sins again!

Now, friend, let me tell you this: If your guilt is habitual — you’re just thinking and thinking about how guilty you are and having shame about the past — then you’re going to have to be aggressive in removing those thoughts, because I can guarantee you that the enemy is aggressive. He wants to keep you in the past, in the guilt, in the shame, in the memories, but you’re brand-new in Christ Jesus. The Bible says that all things are made new in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17), but if you are serious about wanting your mind renewed, you’ve got to put the Word of God in your eyes, in your mind, and in your mouth.

I want you to know that I love you, and I’m not trying to sound hard, but you have to know that you won’t defeat wrong thoughts by just being silent. You defeat wrong thoughts by putting in new ones. The Bible says to cast down those thoughts, resist those thoughts, but replace them with thoughts that are obedient to Christ — God’s thoughts about you (2 Corinthians 10:4-6).

Maybe you’re still struggling to know what God’s thoughts are about you, so I want to give you a passage to start with, and it is Colossians 1:21-22: “And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight.”

That’s who you are. Through His blood, through His flesh, and through His death — not what you did, not how bad you were or how good you were, but through what He did — you are holy, blameless, and above reproach in His sight!

Friend, this is great news! Here is another bit of good news about you: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved…” (Colossians 3:12). You are the elect of God! While the enemy’s trying to condemn you, Jesus is wanting to love you! He calls you His beloved, and He wants you to just receive it. That’s all you have to do, friend. You’re already His beloved, you’re already in, according to the Bible.

This is how great the Gospel is. Every other religion is focused on trying to get good enough, but Jesus came to us. Friend, you can just put your hand on your heart right now and say, “I am holy. Yes, I’m holy, and I’m blameless, and I’m irreproachable in His sight. I am the elect of God. I am beloved.”

Friend, That’s the truth. If you’re born again, that’s how great your salvation is.

How Can I Attain Inner Harmony?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: I have been experiencing internal conflict for 20 years. I understand in my mind that I love God and want to live according to His commandments, but I do not feel this love and joy in my heart. Guilt plagues me for not relying on God completely, and I’m tired of medication and constant internal struggle. How can I attain inner harmony?

A.  I believe we have some really good news for anyone struggling like this. You may have already been saved, but there is a second experience that holds so much power for believers that I want to tell you about, and it’s called the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

In Matthew 3:11, John the Baptist says, “I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”

We see in this verse that Jesus is the Baptizer in the Holy Spirit, and I can tell you that when His Spirit fills us, we have the power to overcome things like depression, anxiety, and pride.

Before I got baptized in the Holy Spirit, I was a Christian, and I loved Jesus as much as I could, but I didn’t know that there was power. Whatever I felt, I felt; whatever I wanted to do, I did; I couldn’t even witness to anybody.  I was religious, and I knew Jesus, but I didn’t have any power.

But when I asked the Lord to baptize me with the Holy Spirit, my life completely changed. I got right up from where I was sitting, and I immediately went and witnessed to a Jewish girl, and she got saved four days later. I went to my mother and apologized to her for not having a right attitude towards her. The Lord spoke to me about my clothes, so I started dressing more modestly, and He filled me with His joy!

Many times when people get baptized in the Holy Spirit, the Lord gives us a new language.  This is called speaking in tongues, and it’s the language of your spirit. You won’t understand what you’re saying, because it’s not going to be from your mind — it’s going to be out of your spirit. The Bible says that when you speak in tongues, you’re building up your faith. By letting the Holy Spirit speak, you are just recharging your spiritual batteries, friend!

If you’re a born-again Christian who is still struggling like this, then it sounds like this is exactly what you want, so I want you to pray right now. Just put yourself in that place of seeking the Lord and open your heart to Him. Go ahead and ask Him. Just say, “Jesus, baptize me with the Holy Spirit and with power and fire. I want to be filled with your Holy Spirit. I want to be able to witness to people. Lord, right now, I’m asking you, baptize me with the Holy Spirit.”

If you are struggling to pray with this for yourself, I would encourage you to call our prayer team. Sometimes, we need other believers to help us in our prayers, and we would love to do this for you. Just call1.844.473.6637 so we can pray with you and for you, or you can even just email us at denisesocial@renner.org. I just hope you will contact us, because I think that this baptism is really the answer to what you’re facing right now.

Do I have to Confess?

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: Where in the Bible does it say that you must confess?

A.  This is such a good question, and I want to show you a couple of different examples of confession in 1 John 1 and James 5.

1 John 1:9 talks about confessing to God, and it says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

That word “confess” doesn’t just mean we say, “Okay, Lord, I did this and I’m sorry.” Confession is actually much more than that. It involves you aligning yourself with His holiness, saying, “Lord, I have sinned against You. I know You’ve forgiven me, but I’m still confessing, because what I did was wrong, and I’m sorry. I thank you for the cleansing blood of Jesus that makes me as white as snow in your presence.”

That is one kind of confession, and we can see that it is linked to the forgiveness of our sins, but we can also find another kind of confession in James 5:16. It says, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

The first verse was talking about confessing to God, but this one talks about confessing to one another, and that can be so powerful. Sometimes when we’re struggling with something, part of the process to get free is to confess to another living person, a trusted friend, somebody who really loves you.

There’s something humbling about that process, and that’s good, because opening yourself in humility is a way of inviting God closer. The Bible says that God opposes those who are proud, but if you are humble, like when you confess your sins to another person, you will receive grace.

What’s wonderful is that this is not a man-made solution. God made this process, because He knows that if we just keep these dark secrets on the inside of us — these struggles with unforgiveness, lying, slander, theft, hate, or any other sin — they will just turn over and over on the inside of us. They might even open our bodies to sickness! But this scripture says that we have to confess, “that you may be healed.”

God is so gracious to us, friend, that’s why confession — admitting to someone, humbling yourself, and getting the secret sin out of you — is not just some way to make up for our mistakes, but it is a way to receive healing!

God doesn’t want us to think that we can just live by ourselves. Even the Apostle Paul, who was in prison so much, filled his letters with the names of other people, fellow servants in the Christian family who loved him and supported him and the ministry. We are a family. We need one another, so we just have to let down our guards and our pride and confess to one another.

I’m telling you, healing is waiting for you, so don’t hold that darkness inside of you anymore. Just like the Bible says, confess it to God. Confess it to one of your brothers or sisters, somebody you trust, and as they pray for you, you will receive freedom from your sins and perhaps even the healing you’ve been waiting for.

Partnering with Peace

Discovering Ruth Q & A

Q: How can I remain peaceful when everything in the world is unstable?

A. I can tell you right now that staying peaceful is not something we can do on our own.

When we look around the world, we see a lot of people who are mentally or emotionally destroyed because of the things going on in their lives, and in our flesh, we naturally want to respond just like these people. When we’re born again, however, that is not how things should be for us. Jesus took everything on Himself that would take our peace, and we can see all over the Bible that the Holy Spirit came to live inside us and that He brings His fruits, one of which is peace.

Philippians 4:7 describes this peace, saying, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

This is the peace and power that’s in you, friend. This is the Holy Spirit on the inside of you. In the original Greek language, this verse actually talks about the peace guarding our minds like an umpire in a game. In sports, the umpire says, “No, that wasn’t right. That play was wrong. You’re penalized.” Likewise, the peace of God in you says, “No, worry. You’re not coming in. No, fear. You’re not coming in.” It stands guard and calls the shots on the inside of you.

We can only have peace through God, friend, but there are some actions we can take to prepare our hearts and minds. With our own mouths, we have to give the job over to that umpire. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You [God] will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

We can see here that when we make the choice to keep our minds on Him, God will keep us in perfect peace. Instead of letting your fearful mind tell you what to think, you can use your mouth to say, “Well, things are not going so good right now, but God has not given me a spirit of fear. He’s given me power. He’s given me love. He’s given me a sound mind.” When you start declaring that the peace, the Spirit within you is so stirred up, and peace starts saying, “No fear, you’re not allowed.”

There’s one more thing we can do to foster this peace in our lives, and that is to stop feeding on fearful things. If you want peace in your heart, you can’t meditate on things that are wrapped up in fear or confusion, because that will just lead your thoughts to fear and confusion. Instead, you’ve got to concentrate on what brings you peace, and I’ll give you a hint what that might be, friend, because one of the names of our savior is “Prince of Peace.” If you’re not sure what to focus on instead of your fear, just focus on the name of Jesus, because He is the only one who can give you true peace.